DEC 2012
One of my friends just ran into my estranged husband in a store. She couldn't find anything, as this was her first time in his store, was about to give up and leave, when he suddenly "came to her aid, and was just so helpful!" They spent a half hour discussing food, and then--after all the horrible things she knows he has done to hurt me and our son--she exchanged emails with him! and sent him some recipes and documentaries on juicing! WTF--rather, WHAT THE FUCK!!! Are we on the Martha Stewart "Battered Wives" for dinner special? She can't get a recipe to me I've asked for months, but she can hook up my battering husband with volumes of information in the span of a couple hours.
My estranged "husband" has worked wonders at invading my personal life and making me incredibly unsettled at the least. After we'd joined a gym, he'd purposely go without me, deliberately, at times I couldn't go due to work. Not once as I continued to ask did he wait for me. He'd go out drinking when I got home. So I found another gym that had both earlier and later hours, and a 2 hour child center included, so that I could go and have our son watched (which he would not do). He was angrier than anyone should be, and then he joined it right after me while still paying monthly dues for the other. When I joined another gym in particular for a group of girls I wanted to befriend, he made his presence known there as well. He then started going to the masseuse I use to work on my DV damaged shoulder. Then he set up his mom-- who is nothing less than hateful toward me-- as he's fed her lies for years about our "situation"-- with the same masseuse at my small, little, low population gym. I had a more distant grocery I'd been going to, a bit of a treck away form our home, where I would be certain not to run into him. But lough and behold, he went and got a job there!
I warned my friend that my husband was up to no good, that he was intentionally seeking her out due to knowing I confided in her. He charmed the hell out of her, and next thing you know, they've exchanged emails, and recipes.
I quickly shared with her my disdain for this confusing occurrence. I said I did not understand how it got that far, and that I found it hurtful and upsetting. She was defensive, started back-paddling that she was so incredibly tired when he caught her off guard. Said she never intended me any harm. I don't think she intended me harm, but it was harmful. I have worked long and hard trying to rebuild my and our son's life with only those who are healthy and supportive of us both. I know my husband too well, and that this was just the beginning of him screwing with my life again through my friends. And it's working. She swore she wasn't swindled by his charm, that I should give her more credit, that she knows who he is.
The next week, my son's teacher and her husband were hi-jacked by my ex in the same grocery store. Though her husband had made a practice of just walking away when he saw my husband, my son's teacher took the opportunity to confront him about innuendos he'd made regarding her & her husband both after I'd allowed him to come to our child's birthday (big mistake). He denied everything, apologized for nothing. She said he kept on and even followed them out to their car, giving her husband his card with his personal cell number on it "to talk later."
This morning, I awoke to various bizarre texts from my ex, having swapped himself into the role of a victim, and me into the role of the abuser!!! He accused me of tearing him down, and expressed huge gratitude that he knew the great guy he was before we met, and had managed to find that great guy again, now that he'd essentially escaped my "web." He also wrote a sickening poem full of psychological breaks in thought and reasoning, accusations of the wife he abused being the reason for any and all problems, and on and on. Note that he was a heap of alcoholic, daily-drug-using-mess when I met him, that I worked hard to get him away from all of that--and that, due to his refusal to do so, things escalated into him attacking me, and our child, as The Threat to his continued drug and alcohol use.
He then wrote again saying that he's ready to and wants to gather the teacher, her husband, my friend, her husband, along with his [actively alcoholic] mother, his dad [who looked the other way as dad's best friend sexually molested Scott], and his sister [who threatened to take custody of our son when I called the police on Scott the 1st time he threw me against a wall], to explain how apparently my mom and I are liars, and he's just this great guy & the victim in all our made up stories about him. This, in complete oblivion to the many police reports, arrest records, and judges' orders supporting everything I've said as happened so far.
I alerted my son's teacher and my friend of his plan for this meeting, his plan to get them all aside to tell them his innocent "side of the story," meaning, his lie that my mom and I made it all up. I cannot comprehend the energy it takes to continue not only his utter disregard for the truth, but his efforts at altering reality for others to support his continued lies!! I cannot imagine... What kind of person keeps battering away both on the front line and behind the scenes to completely destroy the mother of his child and all of her support systems...? What kind of person can do that?
A sociopath. There is nothing he says or swears that he hasn't ad infinitum before. In May, I gave him another chance to show me the imaginary changes again. What he repeatedly showed me was that he still drinks, gets drunk, drives that way, and doesn't see it as a problem, still lies, and still holds the same perpetuating abusive viewpoints on his violence toward me and our son. He showed me only that he was not changed inside. I tried my life to help him get well, not tear him down, to the neglect of my own health and life, to help him get better and away from all that would tear him down... I loved him...I love him... But he is sorely delusional about who did what. Emails, texts, voice-mails galore validate the truth he refuses to talk about or "see." He was downright evil to me and our son. He said to kill our baby girl growing inside of me.
And he is still twisting facts to tear ME down...
It is me who had to stand up to his continued lies, not the other way around.
I told him then and there, that if he doesn't believe in Hell, then he won't ever have to fix this while he lives. But as it stands, he will be welcomed there first. He is a criminal. And the master of his own deceit. I have said before in response to his cruelties, "May God grant you as you have granted me and our son, except tenfold..."
God and His Angels help me continue to keep my self and son safe from his words and acts against me.
Please, God, keep us safe from him.
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